So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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