I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize