he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize