im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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