did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
