listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize