i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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