get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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