hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
