guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize