these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
