id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
