Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
