I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The feeling are messing with the penis
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
