Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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