Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
