Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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