i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh god it's open bar.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
