you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't turn off my feet"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize