Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
