This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
