In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
