Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
