you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
