There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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