how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
