You work out of a Hotel?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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