We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize