Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It's just like the Real World with babies
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
