I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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