he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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