ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
