i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
and she was petting her beer can
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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