Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just high enough for therapy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
