im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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