she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
