so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
