Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
