Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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