sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize