so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
