Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
40s are totally the cure
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
