i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
