wake up i wanna do it froggy style
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
