Cold hands, warm shart.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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