I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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