Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
