Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize