but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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