I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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