well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
