Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
