Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize