I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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