I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
