you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
