bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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