so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
