we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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