People in love make me want to vomit
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
