party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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