My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize