dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
