Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
