Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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