Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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