I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
