Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
