i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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