Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
