WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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