just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize